Anger Management

What is anger?

Anger is a basic and normal human emotion that you can feel on a daily basis. Anger is not problematic in its milder form of irritability; feeling angry is nature’s way of telling you that you have perceived a threat, a wrong-doing or an injustice.  Uncontrolled and persistent anger however can be harmful. It can be detrimental to the individual’s health, and damage family, social and working relationships. When anger is unrestrained, it can show itself in situations where innocent people can be hurt or even killed. Examples can include road rage, domestic abuse, and individual and gang violence. With anger, property can be damaged with complete disregard.

What happens when you are angry?

Anger is a heightened state of arousal that prepares you to deal with perceived threats. When you are angry, stress hormones are released to alter the functioning of your mind. Your mind is alerted to the perceived threat in a distorted way. The rational intelligence normally used to handle situations is swallowed up by a primitive “caveman” logic to either attack or be defeated.

Your body also responds to the stress hormones. Adrenaline and cortisol are released into the body, increasing your heart rate and causing your breathing to become more rapid and shallow. Non-essential functions like digestion are de-prioritised. Blood flow is diverted to voluntary muscles as if preparing you to go into battle and strike out. With higher levels of anger, you are a machine poised to deal with the perceived threat with very basic “animal” instincts.

Not all anger is primitive, however. You can get angry and then rationally evaluate the most appropriate response. Even when anger is moderate or calculated, these same physical reactions can still take place.

What affects the intensity of your anger?

Anger is a basic human emotion. How angry you are, how you process your anger and how long anger persists after a experiencing a threat can vary between individuals.

When classifying anger, a scale of 1 to 10 is commonly applied to rate the degree of anger felt or expressed. At the lower levels there is irritation and aggravation, at the upper levels hostility, aggression and rage. Revenge (as a form of anger) can be used at all levels.

The intensity of your anger is dependent on the history, internal, external and situational factors:

• Your history of anger and history of the event

• Your general disposition and current stress levels

• Background cultural factors

• How much you rate the severity of the perceived threat

• The relationship with the perpetrator and their apparent intentions

• Your analysis of the circumstances surround the event

What can cause you to get angry?

Modern living rarely needs the primitive “fight or flight” anger response that our ancestors once used for survival. The threat of survival has evolved into the threat of losing one’s self-esteem.

How you define your esteem can mean different things to different people. But modern anger is usually stimulated when there is a perceived threat to:  

• Your physical well-being – The aftermath of an attack can create a deep feeling of anger to get your revenge on your attacker and level the score.

• Your self-image and social status – This can be defined as how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. A nasty comment that defames you can cause anger particularly when it is untrue. It can have an impact on your reputation.  

Anger is also common when a threat affects your social position. A negative life change like a demotion or redundancy at work can create anger particularly when you believed that you were performing well in your job.

• Your family – When your child is being bullied at school, anger can be a response to your own feeling of helplessness. Naturally, you would want to protect them from harm, but you are not able to be present in every situation.

• Your social group – A criticism given to the football team you support or pop group that you like can spark a verbal or physical argument. Youth culture is known for having a strong social group identity that links with one’s self image.

• Your property – Your possessions can act as extensions of your identity.  The sentimental or monetary value of possessions often defines people. The modern car is an example of how some people like to present their image. Damage the car and you damage the owner’s ego.

• Your boundaries – You like to know the rules that govern what you can and can’t do. When you know where you stand in life, you feel safe even if you don’t agree with the rule in principal. When a change takes place, you can feel angry. A teenager who has a curfew set by their parents can feel angry about the rule change if it does not equate with his/her offence. “It’s not fair” is a common angered response.

• Your privileges – Losing something that helps you to feel special or that gives you some advantage can invoke an angered response. Cuts made in work organisations create “hot” air in the staffroom. The mistake that generates the anger may be caused by taking the privilege for granted in the first place.

Long-term suppressed anger can act as a trigger for unexplained outbursts of emotion in the present. When you know that situations trigger your anger, you can avoid situations in the future as way of trying to cope.

Unresolved anger can create long-term health issues similar to high stress levels. It includes heart problems, hypertension, depression, anxiety, low immunity-related conditions like flu and IBS.

When is professional help needed to treat your anger?

Anger can affect relationship?

Hypnotherapy can be an effective way to treat your anger, although it is unlikely that you will seek hypnotherapy for occasional irritability. Some of the warning signs that your anger is out of control include:

Anger is affecting your relationships.

Aggressive (verbal and physical) behaviour can be detrimental to close family relationships and friendships. Self-esteems can be destroyed when you are taking out your frustration on people close to you. It can shatter the confidence and feeling of security of those who witness your anger.

Anger is affecting your job

Competitive work situations and unnecessary change can create anger in your workplace. When you are an angry boss, it may scare your staff into completing their tasks, but it can harm relationships, affect job satisfaction cause unnecessary health issues.

Your anger is creating constant physical tension

Suppressed anger or unresolved anger from long-term issues can cause insomnia, high blood pressure and depression. There are numerous other health issues that can develop when it left unchecked.

Your anger is causing you to physically strike out at people.

Physical violence that stems from rage is a clear indicator that some professional help is required. It may help you from being arrested.

You avoid too many situations because of your anger

Some tactical avoidance may help you to manage your anger in situations where there is a strong trigger. Avoiding too many situations in fear of an outburst however means that anger is still dominating your life.

Use hypnotherapy as your preferred choice of treatment for your anger issues. Each hypnotherapy programme is individualised for your emotional and behavioural transformation. Benefit from hypnotherapy to treat your anger.

Treatment for anger using hypnotherapy

For many people, anger can seem like an internal eruption that is out of control. Changing the way you express your anger can help protect your relationships, your career and your health. Hypnotherapy can help you deal with your anger at different levels.

There are a number of steps that can help you to change your expression of anger:

Understand the nature of your anger: There are very few situations where anger is just about anger. When it is related to the present situation, it is dealt with in a controlled manner. Most of the time, anger is a response to suppressed underlying issues that you are not ready to deal with or may not want to want to deal with. Your anger acts as a front to a deeper pain. Fear of rejection, worthlessness, embarrassment, shame, and jealousy are some of emotions that can fuel anger.

Identify your anger warning signs and triggers: Deep-rooted negative beliefs and can act as catalysts to your anger. They can rapidly take you from being in control to out of control.

You may already know certain people, places or situations that can trigger your anger. But rather than blaming them, identifying how they affect you can help you choose how you interact.

Learn ways to keep calm: When you understand the nature of your anger and can identify the signs and triggers, you can then learn ways to deal with your anger before it hits the upper limits.

An ongoing situation that angers you requires constant anger and stress management. Breathing techniques and progressive relaxation can help reduce physical tension. Frequent exercise is another way of venting these symptoms.

Develop constructive ways to express your anger: When you recognise that your anger is worthy of the situation and that there is a way to resolve it, you can then direct your anger in a more constructive and assertive way.

How can Hypnotherapy help your anger?

Much of the anger that is expressed at a particular moment has an unconscious association. If it was conscious, you would control easily by yourself. Hypnotherapy can treat your anger in the following ways:

Understand the nature of your anger

Hypnotherapy can be used to identify relevant past traumas that are surfacing when you are angry. By re-framing the emotion behind your past traumas, hypnotherapy allows you to be more focused on and in control of the current situation. You can then feel released to deal with the situation constructively and express your anger calmly. With hypnotherapy, your mind can make the important link to what generates your anger.

Help you identify your anger warning signs and triggers

Hypnotherapy can help you to identify your internal and external signs and triggers. Anger can seem like an “either or reaction”. One moment you are dealing with the situation and then the next moment you are boiling over with rage. When it happens unconsciously, trying to analyse it afterwards can seem a little too late.

Hypnotherapy can help you to stay calm

When stress levels are high, you are generally more irritable and your potential to learn is inhibited. But more importantly, hypnotherapy can plant effective calming techniques into your anger ritual, positively disrupting the negative chain-reaction.

Hypnotherapy can help you develop constructive ways to express your anger

Hypnotherapy can help you to react more calmly and bring your anger under control. You can then learn to appreciate the demands of the situation and the people involved.

“You are not the anger, you are the awareness behind the anger. Realize this and the anger
will no longer control you.”

– Eckhart Tolle